| 1. In the Chamber of The Duchesse.The
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| | neither shekels nor cluckats. --Ah,
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| Duchesse Frantouse mooned over her fate.
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| | Friendel, you forget that she has the ear
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| Rapunzel had her Rumpelstiltskin, Juliet
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| | of the Duchesse! --I remember that it is
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| had Romeo, Don Quixote had his Rocinante,
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| | not a very big ear, Keerah, and almost
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| but whom had the Duchesse? Duke Snoutfare
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| | all gristle. --That is indubitable.
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| was whom, and he was wont to starve her
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| | Perhaps we should kidnap the whole
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| or lock her in her chamber. She was so
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| | chicken, dear Friendel. --Chicken?5.
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| young and so beautiful. It was too, too
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| | Along a Wooded Path.--Well looky here, I
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| bitter. Snortafeu, her nose-ferret, too
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| | do believe I have the pleasure of
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| betrayed her with the typical little
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| | crossing paths with the ever lovely Nam
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| black eyes and buttery nose of a female
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| | Nam Chattering, handmaiden to the
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| nose-ferret. The Duchesse could rely on
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| | Duchesse Frantouse. How fares the great,
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| only one person; her dear young nursemaid
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| | if small, Lady kept in her keep? --Uh oh
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| and confidante Nam Nam Chattering. Sad to
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| | varlots mind your caution you two
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| say, Nam Nam had problems of her own. Nam
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| | remember that I have a quite large
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| Nam Chattering always spoke in a voice
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| | brother from Fleghm who can knock you all
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| barely audible, her tiny cup-shaped hand
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| | to pieces. --Ah, yes, the very large
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| held frozen in front of her mouth, eyes
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| | brother. Surely you are thinking of
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| darting about. --Milady I desperately
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| | Chelm. I heard through eavesdropping on
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| need 600 cluckats because it's ever so
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| | the witches that he is full of nubbins.
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| important that I get them right now so as
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| | --Not today not today I'm late I'm late
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| to pay my debt to Lacruda the Lowly
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| | out of my way. With little further
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| Liegelord of Chelm or all is lost.
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| | conversation the vandals swamped Nam Nam
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| --Chelm? You mean Fleghm of course. Never
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| | with a gunny sack and trundled her off to
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| fear Nam Nam, I shall will it to you. Now
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| | their kidnapping cottage in the French
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| let me tell you my problems. --But
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| | foreign region where she would be free to
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| Madame I need it now I cannot wait until
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| | scream, though that would have surprised
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| you die it is a matter of utmost
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| | even her.6. In the Chamber of The
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| oh-my-goodness. --Oh Chatters, I don't
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| | Duchesse Again.--Mung, Shung and Shinny!
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| have to die to will something to you. The
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| | Where is that nattering Nam Nam. Out
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| cluckats are yours. Get them from
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| | jabbering somewhere, no doubt. Hark! What
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| Shinglevan. Now, I'm having this fret
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| | knight on yonder donkey looms. Ho, he
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| about... --Pardon Mum if I schreck you
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| | knocks upon my portcullis. He enters, he
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| say that Shinglevan will stake me?
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| | sees steps, he goes up, he approaches
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| --Here, you shall give this bit of garlic
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| | mine own cold cold hearth. Tap.
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| toast to him, he will obey. --I will if
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| | --Milady, forsooth methinks I come
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| you say to but I don't think he shall do
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| | a-bearing ill woe betides. --News?
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| it. -- Shush, if you're not going to
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| | --Nam Nam Chattering is carried away.
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| listen to my woes, get tea. --Hmm tea
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| | --Yes, she can be enthusiastic, can't
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| dumb tea if you ask me. --Off with your
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| | she? --What I mean is that abductors
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| headstrong ways. Get! Warmunuf Potheen
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| | have snatched her. --Oh my, can't have
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| the Tea Officer silently slithered in and
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| | that. What shall I do, what shall I do?
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| served. The Duchesse sipped in sad
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| | --I fear they have vulgar intentions
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| solemnity. Countess Buttery-nose
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| | Milady. They have illustrated their
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| Snortafeu the ferret snuffled around
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| | demands by sending along a book of kills
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| under the dust ruffles and settled in on
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| | they might employ if they don't get their
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| a warm slipper and halfway closed her
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| | way. --Frogs in the crabgrass! What do
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| beady eyes.2. At the Treasury.Nam Nam
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| | they want? --You. --Me? --Actually,
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| Chattering adjusted her lace cap,
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| | they want the dukedom. They think that to
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| whimpered up to face Shinglevan with the
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| | rescue Nam Nam, you will give yourself up
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| bit of garlic toast in her cupped hand,
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| | to them, then they will be able to hold
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| left shoulder hunched, and broke the news
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| | up Duke Snoutfare who will give them the
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| about the money to him. --Oh Cushinglee
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| | fief. --Ha! --Precisely. The no bull
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| Saints Peter and Christopher, Chattering,
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| | duke would not part with a comb much less
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| how did you manage to build up such an
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| | the clippings from his fingernails or a
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| obligation? And, by the way, if you can
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| | castle and grounds. They have
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| spare a few moments, I have a number of
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| | overstepped. --You go tell them to let
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| complaints I would like to tell you
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| | Nam Nam loose and I will try to persuade
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| about. Perhaps you can speak with the
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| | the duke to overlook their stepoverage.
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| Duchesse. --No time now Sir I couldn't
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| | --I fanfare forth.7. In the Duke's
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| help it Sir it's me brother's nubbins you
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| | Offices.Duke Snoutfare put one foot upon
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| see. --Oh Pitiful Martyrs, what's
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| | the leathern ottoman, then the other foot
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| nubbins to do with it? --Well you see
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| | up and first foot down. He did this over
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| Sir them nubbins keeps comin' back and he
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| | and over as was his way when pondering
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| has to go to the witches to get 'em taken
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| | serious affairs. --So, Frantouse, my
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| off and them nubbins they won't hardly
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| | unnecessary but nearby love, it appears
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| leave and I has to pay them witches for
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| | that you have lost what sense you once
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| every time we go and we couldn't pay the
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| | had. I do not fathom the depth of your
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| last six times and so I had to borrow
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| | argument. I say knots to them. Nam Nam is
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| from Lacruda the Lowly Liegelord of
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| | not even numnum, what do I care? --It is
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| Fleghm that's what it is you see Sir.
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| | true that you have never been a kind
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| --Oh Rusty Forks and Spoons, whatever it
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| | person, nor a generous one, nor a nice
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| is I suppose that it is none of my
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| | one. Best I stop there. I appeal then to
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| business. You must be thinking of Chelm
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| | your greed, avarice, venality and torpor.
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| my dear. Since you have brought the
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| | These bold varlots could, after all, be
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| Sacred Garlic Toast, I am compelled to
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| | squashed into service as tax collectors
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| concede to you the shekels. Just a few
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| | and we could snatch back Nam Nam. What
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| minutes of your time, I have only twelve
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| | say? --The customary term is 'pressed
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| worries to impart. --I'll be needing it
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| | into service,' but I rather like
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| in cluckats if it's all the same to you
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| | 'squashed' now that you put it that way.
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| Sir. Shinglevan curled a lip and handed
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| | Send for the pressers.8. At the
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| over the cash. Nam Nam adjusted her lace
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| | Kidnappery.--I do believe I have the
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| cap and tiptoed off to pay up.3. At the
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| | pleasure of espying a messenger,
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| Brewery.Nam Nam Chattering picked a piece
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| | Friendel. No, it's a gang of pressers.
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| of mistletoe as she wended through the
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| | --Ill is boding again, Keerah, let us
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| Witchforest. Soon enough she found the
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| | evacuate the premises. --Wait, they are
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| keeper of the cauldron and got permission
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| | sporting the green raiment of
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| to see Witch One. --Oh Witch One I have
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| | friendliness. --Oh yeah, friendliness,
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| the cluckats which I owe to Lacruda the
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| | green raiment, I depart hencewith. --Too
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| Lowly Liegelord of Chelm but I am afraid
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| | late now, they're here. --We bring you
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| of him do you suppose you could pass them
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| | greetings from Duke Snoutfare and an
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| on to him if it doesn't inconvenience
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| | offer. You can accept being pressed into
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| your witching if it please your
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| | service as tax collectors, or we will
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| witchness? --Ah, the little nubbins
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| | squash you. Do you have a preference?
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| girl! Thanks, I'll take these coins and
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| | What say you? --Pressed! Pressed! --You
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| return them to Lacruda the Lowly where
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| | are so impressed.9. In the Chamber of The
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| they belong. He lives in Fleghm, by the
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| | Duchesse Once More.--So Nam Nam, pretty
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| way. How's brother Skinrah today? --Oh
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| | neat rescue eh? Nam Nam Chattering
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| just fine Witch One thank you I'll be off
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| | adjusted her lace cap, placed her tiny
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| now. --I was hoping you would stay for a
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| | cup-shaped hand in front of her mouth,
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| bit of tea. Witch Two is stewing a brew
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| | and spoke in a barely audible voice.
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| right now, and there are some matters
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| | --Well all I can say is that you could
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| that have been upsetting me lately
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| | have at least had them untie me before
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| regarding the treatment of witches in
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| | carrying me back wholesale by them smelly
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| this Dukery and I would like to have you
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| | pressers and I don't never want to see
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| speak to your mistress about them.
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| | that forest no more and if nubbins comes
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| --Best I be gettin' back as the Duchesse
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| | back I don't care I won't do it and that
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| you know is a fusspot you knew that about
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| | goes for your old nose-ferret too.
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| her didn't you know it? --Yes Nam Nam,
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| | Snortafeu nuzzled the slipper further
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| away you go then. Witch One waved
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| | underneath the dust-ruffles, munched on a
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| goodbye first.4. Behind a Bush.--Well,
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| | fly, tilted her head slightly toward the
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| well, well, I do believe I have the
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| | Northwest and sighed into a light
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| pleasure of espying Nam Nam Chattering
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| | snore.The EndJack Wilson is a writer and
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| walking alone in this forbidding forest.
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| | artist practicing in Los Angeles and
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| --Yep, that's who it is. Why should that
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| | Phoenix.
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| interest varlots like us? She will have
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|
